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  • #1250

    Sarah-Mark
    Keymaster

    The Money Talk…. 

    Just like in the other foundations, you need to have the financial foundation of a relationship. And don’t be shy about it, but be open and honest with each other. Because you need to understand each other’s financial capabilities and responsibilities. So each of you grew up with different thoughts on finances and are now coming together as one. So it is best to have discuss the financial foundation of a relationship, maybe not in the beginning, but at some point before the relationship gets too far along.

     

    Things to ask them:

    • Can they create and live on a budget?
    • Do they have a saving plan for retirement?
    • Are they debt free or working on it?
    • How do they feel about money? (do you control it or does it control you)
    • Are they ok with using credit or do you prefer paying cash?

    We hope these questions get your brains thinking of other questions to ask. What would YOU want to know about a potential spouse’s financial status? What would you be willing to share about yours?

    Learn about the Physical Foundation

     

     

  • Financial Foundation of a Relationship

    Deleted User updated 3 months, 2 weeks ago 8 Members · 18 Replies
  • Deleted User

    Deleted User
    June 2, 2021 at 12:33 am

    All very good points to question with the right person. I would also like to know how others can discuss financials when there are two families coming together. I am widowed and have adult children, yet I have a plan/goal for them/myself when such a time may arise as needed. I feel this is important no matter what age the children may be. If we find someone we want to marry, but they do not agree with the other person’s plan, etc. What next?

    • Sarah-Mark

      Administrator
      June 9, 2021 at 2:32 am

      Great question Margo and I am so glad you have a plan in place. That is so important.

      I think I understand your questions, “If we find someone we want to marry, but they do not agree with the other person’s plan, etc. What next?”

      Why are they questioning the plan? What don’t they agree with the plan? I would dig deep to the reason, asking “why” a couple of times normally will get to the root of the problem. Do they not have a plan in place for their children or future wife? Are they really the one for you then if they don’t like your plan for the children/adult children?

      You bring up a great point and thank you for asking.

    • Andrew

      Member
      July 18, 2021 at 8:11 pm

      That is good insight about the extended family. In my planning I overlook that aspect. I spend my time looking for traits and qualities in one person that I think could potentially be a match. It’s hard to plan for that extended scenario.

      In my experience concerns about money come down to an insecurity. “Will we have enough for this?” “What if this happens?” “I was once without, I don’t want to be there again.” Continue to talk it out and find out what that concern is. Then discussion can be had about a compromise.

      • Sarah-Mark

        Administrator
        July 19, 2021 at 12:17 am

        And sometimes we can’t plan for the extended family but at least we can be on the lookout for any flags that might pop up.

        A good thing to know and you probably already know this is, ladies like to feel secure in the finance area, men like respect. Ladies like to know there is a plan and a goal, some men are like that too.

        • Deleted User

          Deleted User
          July 26, 2021 at 11:09 pm

          I think there is a balance between planning and faith. Yah wants us to use the sense He gave us, but sometimes we have to take a step into the water if you will.

        • Sarah-Mark

          Administrator
          August 5, 2021 at 11:49 pm

          Having balance is so important.

  • Deleted User

    Deleted User
    August 6, 2021 at 9:08 pm

    would you know how I can unsubscribe? I looked everywhere and I sent an email but it bounced. I think its strange that there is no place to contact Sarah or Mark on this website or how to unsubscribe and

    cancel the subscription? There are just too few on here to make it worth while.

    • Sarah-Mark

      Administrator
      August 6, 2021 at 11:07 pm

      I have sent you a message on here, sending us a message is one of the way to reach us or even emailing us at contactus@hebrewshebrew.com

  • Fcapoccia

    Member
    April 18, 2022 at 11:16 pm

    Great questions to keep in mind. I would not have thought of all of these. Being on a similar page would be important especially if older and have adult children.

    • Sarah-Mark

      Administrator
      April 27, 2022 at 6:41 pm

      Yes it is

  • Deleted User

    Deleted User
    May 15, 2022 at 11:20 pm

    Yes, adult children and even grandchildren are a factor. I believe we marry into families, meaning we inherit additional responsibilities. My wife’s father and mother had lived with us at various times based on their needs. Her mother has passed away, but her dad is my dad. We speak on a regular basis. That’s the same with her/our two sons. One of the kindest words came from the younger one who said “you’ve been more of a father to me than my birth father”.

    I think when we are yoked together as husband and wife, we shoulder some of the real-life weight and concerns that our spouse brings into the marriage– within reason.

    My wife is deceased, but my relationship with her family continues.

    • Sarah-Mark

      Administrator
      May 16, 2022 at 2:51 pm

      Thank you Paul for sharing. Yes being in a relationship also means being in a relationship with the extended family too. And as we age each stage is different.

      These are good things to talk about before marriage. Figuring out what does this look like for your family. How involved does the family need to be in your daily life or monthly life.

  • Deleted User

    Deleted User
    May 17, 2022 at 1:23 pm

    So, back to the question at hand regarding money and financial literacy. All of these are very important to discuss before marriage. Understanding how they handle money and are they willing to accept input, even if that means relinquishing some control of the finances so that there is a sharing of responsibilities. Wanda and I shared financial responsibilities and kept each other accountable.

    • Sarah-Mark

      Administrator
      May 19, 2022 at 1:29 pm

      I agree. Sharing responsibilities are so important for a healthy relationships.

    • Andrew

      Member
      May 21, 2022 at 5:31 am

      Paul, that is a great picture. There is a lot of joy in that household, we can tell.

      A great point you brought up is to have both in the relationship involved. I’ve known some who find security in having control and making all the decisions. I’ve known some who are intimidated and would rather not know. I think true harmony and security is when there is a middle ground and both work together in the areas of finance.

      • Deleted User

        Deleted User
        May 25, 2022 at 3:40 pm

        Thank you, Andrew.

        I’ve been blessed to have a wonderful extended family by marriage. Caring for the parents of a spouse… If something should happen to the parents of grandkids… All of these and I’m sure more will factor into how finances are allocated.

        My wife has passed away, but the 20-year relationship with my/her family has not passed away. If we can extend our hand to help those in need, we truly need to consider family first. Ok, I’m off of this soap box.
        Shalom

  • faith

    Member
    August 21, 2022 at 2:46 pm

    I think every situation is different but for the most part what a person works for they should keep, but it is also equal on where you live, as in two live there two should have responsibilities. Some responsibilities could include growing the food and caring for chickens and goats. So like I said all situations are different. As long as you remember that all that is given to you is a gift from the Father you should never have issues because like your pets or other gifts you put it somewhere special or treat it with care to the best of your ability. I think most of the financial issues nowadays is that people want thing’s, stuff to make them look better to others; but if the Father is first worldly opinions shouldn’t matter.

    • Deleted User

      Deleted User
      August 21, 2022 at 3:08 pm

      You make good points, Faith. I agree that every situation is different. I’ve also noticed that social media (keeping up with what others are doing) might motivate couples to purchase things that they don’t really need. To show off and put on display their stuff, their vacations, their, etc.

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