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Physical Foundation
Physical:
We know being physically attracted to someone is not the be all end all in a relationship but you do have to have some kind of attraction to them. When you are starting to get to know someone take that into account. Love and being attracted to them can take time as well. Give yourself time and them time for that to happen, don’t just write them off right away.
Some questions to think about?
- Are you attracted to the person you are seeing?
- Do they make you feel good?
- Do they make you feel bad about yourself? 9that could be a yellow/red flag if they put you down)
- Do I need to get healthy?
- Do I need to take care of myself better? Maybe shower more, trim my beard and have a new hairstyle?
I hope some of these questions will get your brain working in the right direction. What are some other questions to either ask yourself or the one you are talking with?
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6 Replies
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It really takes a lot of time in the actual presence of someone to find them attractive because of their inner person when they might not look great in a picture. I find lots of people “grow ” on me after I get to know them. However, basic healthy, neat and tidy appearance is attractive no matter the shape or size of someone’s features.
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I so agree with you! Having a first impression is so important.
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I agree with MaryLynn, attraction often grows. There are definitely some basic features or qualities that will stand out as more attractive or desirable, like smiling, but I’ve definitely found men to be most attractive to me based on seeing them serve others, watching them play with and teach children, or other things like that.
The physical attraction piece, I’ve found hardest with online dating…
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Rita, I also agree with you, attraction can grow overtime. Plus I also like to see people serve or ministry to someone, I think that can be a very attractive attribute.
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Some friends and I have been discussing physical attraction a lot lately… There’s a wonderful man who has a million and one excellent qualities (the important ones!) but he’s not attractive to you and you can’t picture the two of you being in a romantic relationship together… What do you do?
Normally, it would be great to observe them as they serve and/or interact with others, but what if that’s not really feasible? I may become attracted to someone as I see them interact with children, for example, but what if there are no opportunities for that to happen?
What if one person is attracted to the other, so they want to move ahead and dive into the relationship quickly, but the one with reservations is hung up on the fact that this wonderful person is not physically attractive?
Can (should) you “force” yourself to try being in a relationship with someone you don’t find physically attractive? In your head you know this is a good match, a good fit. But you can’t help feeling that you’re just not into it…
I would love to hear/see some thoughts and discussion around this because it’s been interesting to know what some of my friends think, so far, but I wonder if others have more experience and insight…
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What a great question. I do think you need to be attracted to someone but the attraction can change also as you spend time with someone or see them in a different way. Just like what you said.
I was not attracted to Mark when I first met him but as we spent more time together it grew in to an attraction. But I do think there needs to be a spark of something. And as the friendship/relationships grows it should turn into love and attraction.
It will be interesting to see what others have to say.
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