What do you FEAR?
How well do you know the person you are speaking with?
What do you fear? When you are in the beginning of the relationship you want to find out everything about that person. Their likes, dislikes, their favorite foods, hobbies, interests, even their favorite Scripture or Bible character. It is good to take the time to get to know someone. It’s even better if you are able to see them in different seasons of life. God gave the seasons for a reason.
The only way to really get to know someone is to ask open ended questions. A relationship should be like a ping pong game. One person asks an open ended question and the other person responds with an answer, and then that person asks the next question. Both people should be sharing equal amounts of questions and answers. Red flag! If one person is talking the entire time, and you are not able to get in a word edgewise, that might be something to pay attention to. We all have those one-off situations, but if it happens more often, you might want to talk about that.
Are you a good Listener?
Do they SHEMA (Hear/Listen and Respond Appropriately). How about you? Do you hear well? Are you a good listener? We might think we are good listeners, and a good responder to what people are saying to us, but are we really listening with both ears and not thinking about what we want to say next? Especially when it comes to talking to someone over the phone. Sometimes we could become so distracted with the things around us that we are not even paying attention to what they are saying, and stop being distracted over the phone.
Be honest with yourself and the person you are getting to know. What do you have to fear? You will not get the results you want if you are not honest with each other. You are hurting yourself and the potential person you are interested in. Why would you do that unless you have something to hide? If that is true, you need to work out your own issues and get help to learn to deal with the hurts and pains. We all have them, but we also learn from them and move on. Seek Yah to help you in your hurt.
Take Aways
- How well do you know the person you are speaking with?
- Are you a good listener?
- Do you ask open ended questions?
- Are you honest with yourself about how you communicate?
I challenge you to message someone an open-ended question. What do you have to fear? Our website is the perfect place to practice those skills. You can ask a question to all members by posting in the Relationship Topic Forum area. If you have not joined yet you should at Hebrew Shebrew dating site. Always be ready to give an answer to open-ended questions. Avoid simple, one-word answers unless that is the only option available. Enjoy communicating!
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Thank you so much for your kind words.
Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular post! It is the little changes that make the most significant changes. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for your comment and your kind words.
has anybody some advice for far distance relation ship?
That is a great questions J.E. First I would say, it is best to meet in person with in the first month of starting to talk with someone who does not live local. You don’t want to invest a lot of time and energy into a relationship if meeting in person does not work out. Also it is best to set up boundaries for those conversations that you have over the phone or through video chats. Some boundaries could be; How long will you talk each day/night? Talking with someone for 3+ hrs a night is too long, that is not real life situation. What conversations are off limits till there is a commitment?
For a long distance relationship to work, it take a commitment, Lots of communication, honesty, trust and being wiling to put in the time and energy to get to know someone. You have to be honest with each other since you are not seeing them weekly. Communication is going to be key.
I hope this helps you. We have a Youtube channel you can check out for more advice. Search Hebrew Shebrew
thank you.
sounds pretty technical. a bit artificial too. life is not always shaped to such rules.
means it’s very far away,no possibilty to meet, but anyway i was expecting a more scriptures related view.
“dating” is not written in it,as far as i heard.
challenging!
Yes, I am giving a general rule. I don’t know you or your situation. Without knowing more details it is hard to give an answer. Each long distance relationship is different. If the person lives overseas or for some reason they can’t travel, it makes it hard. It doesn’t mean that it can’t work. Maybe more video calls, or talking with family members to get to know them from someone else how that person is in person. Again each relationship is going to look different. There is no cookie cutter or formula to it. Like I said, lots of communication and being honest with each other is going to be important so you can get to know each other more.
When it comes to dating in the Bible, you are correct. That was not their culture back then. We live in a different time. You can call it courtship or friendship. Just make it clear what your intentions are.
Again I don’t know you or your situation. Feel free to email if you would like more info or if you would like to share more. contactus@hebrewshebrew.com